Friday, April 24, 2009

GI Joe Resolute

The GI Joe webseries GI Joe Resolute airs in its entirety Saturday night at midnight on adult swim.

I've seen the first fifty minutes and let me tell you this is GI Joe like you've never seen it. Think of it this way... if GI Joe was real and the terrorists did attack, this is how we would react. Nobody is safe. Fan Favorite characters die left and right. This is GI Joe vs Cobra to the death.

Check it out tomorrow night or visit adult swim.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Tentative Blog Schedule

Here's my thoughts on the schedule for the cave.

Really Bad Poetry Mondays
Scrooge McDuck Complex Tuesdays
Why Aren't You Wednesdays
Squish the Spider Thursdays
Super Happy Fun Picture Time Fridays

There will be other features too but these are the ones I'll try to have up every week.

I'm hoping to make some nice logos this weekend.

TMNT Reboot

HOLLYWOOD -- The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are making their way back to the bigscreen.
The Mirage Group, which owns the property, is moving forward with a live-action film focusing on the origins of the iconic crime fighters. Project, targeted for release in 2011, would mark the fifth bigscreen outing for the sewer-dwelling heroes Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael as well as their master Splinter.

News coincides with the Turtles' 25th anniversary celebration, which kicks off Thursday in New York as the first "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" film unspools at the Tribeca Film Festival.

Legendary Pictures former chief marketing officer Scott Mednick is producing the new pic alongside Galen Walker, who produced the 2007 computer-animated "TMNT" pic, the most recent installment in the franchise. Peter Laird, Gary Richardson, Frederick Fierst, Eric Crown and Napoleon Smith III are exec producing the film, which is based on the characters created by Laird and Kevin Eastman.

The characters first appeared in a May 1984 comicbook before spawning a lucrative line of toys, cartoons and three films released in the early 1990s. In 2003, the Turtles were reintroduced to a new generation via a TV series, the "TMNT" film and a revamped merchandising program.

The latest project is being financed by Lightbox Prods.

"The original dozen comics created by Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman are some of the best source material one could hope for," said Mednick, whose exec producing credits include the upcoming "Where the Wild Things Are." Laird, who bought out Eastman's share of the property several years ago, said the film will remain true to the spirit of the original comicbooks. He added that the pic may employ face replacement technology, which would allow the turtles to be much more expressive.

Today's 25th anniversary "Shell-ebration" will also include lighting the Empire State Building in "turtle green."

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Go Green for Earth Day

Hey happy Earth Day. I've posted a tip to help you go green after the jump.

If you want to go green for this Earth Day we recommend taking a nice big dose of gamma radiation. Hey what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

We interrupt this blog...

Blog posts will be limited the next few days...

I'm setting up a regular blog schedule that will probably go into effect next week. We'll probably do theme weeks once a month. I'll post the schedule later this week.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Lost Theory: The coming War

Finally, I share my 2 cents on the upcoming war (season six?) on Lost.

Charles Widmore says there's a war coming. Who's side will you be on?

Most people will probably think this is between Ben and Widmore... but I don't think that is necessarily the case. We've recently seen a new group who keeps asking people "What is in the shadow of the statue?" Who are these guys?

Well I have a few guesses.

First Guess: Its Dharma... they are back and they want the island back. Chances: not likely. Dharma was left pretty devastated after the purge. I do think they are still active though as seen by the food air drops.

Second Guess: Its Elloise. Daniel's mum and former inhabitant of the island. She worked with Widmore as Ellie on the island and was told to bury the nuclear bomb in concrete by a timelost Daniel. She is working her way back to the island. She represents a mix of science and faith... something that the Others and Dharma lack. She has formed a team that will bring a new order. Chances: Pretty likely.

Final Guess: What lies in the shadow of the statue? Well the smoke monster of course. A religious cult has risen up and is doing his bidding. Chances: Pretty slim but it would be cool. I really like smokey as you can probably tell.

So what are all these groups after?

Well if my guesses about Jacob's identity is right then they are probably all fighting over his birthright. What is his birthright? Is it the island itself?

And how do Walt and Aaron fit into this. Is one of them destined for the birthright... My guess Walt will be the one to receive it. He's a pretty special kid after all.

Thanks for reading... it'll be fun next year when Lost finally wraps to see how far off my guesses were. ;)

Lost Theory: The Rest of Season Five

Now we are going to chat about the ending of season 5:

The producers of Lost like putting videos on the internet. These videos usually offer clues what is coming up on the show.

In the Orchid Video, we see Marvin Candle holding a rabbit for an experiment. We then see the same rabbit appearing in the room. Marvin freaks out and starts yelling don't let them come in contact.

Next up we have the dharma video from last years comic con. In this video Marvin Candle says that the time for games is over. He reveals his name is Pierre Chang and that everyone in Dharma is going to die in a purge. He begs someone, anyone to change the past. We then here Daniel's voice saying this is pointless and the camera is turned off.

So heres my guesses. I'm thinking that Daniel and Miles are going to tell Dr. Chang who they really are. Dr. Chang will make this video and then tell his wife to leave the island with baby Miles. I think Miles will come in contact with baby Miles (Remember, don't let the rabbits touch). This will cause the incident that is mentioned in some of the orientation videos. Dr. Chang will lose his arm trying to save Miles (In some videos he has a fake arm).

The jig will be up and Dharma will be coming after the Losties. They have to get back to their own time but the frozen wheel room is burning hot right now. (Remember the season premiere where the drills kept melting and we saw Daniel pushing some container). Daniel will freeze the room, but now its too cold to enter.

The solution: A polar bear. Daniel will strap a polar bear to the wheel. He turns the wheel and sends the Losties back to the present. And the poor polar bear will end up in Tunisia where it dies. Charolette will later find his skeleton in the desert as we have already seen.

Next: my final theory. The coming war.

Lost Theory: Claire

Today we are going to talk about Claire.

AS you know Claire was sleeping in a Dharma House that got blown to smithereens. She later appears unscathed though Miles (I see dead people) kept acting weird when she was around. In that same episode in the flashforward, Jack is reading Alice in Wonderland to Aaron. The passage talks about Alice waking up and being something altogether different.

Claire later wanders off, abandoning Aaron, and never returns. She is later seen all happy and giggly in the Cabin with Christian Shepherd.

So what is going on here? Is Claire a ghost now? That's what I thought at first... but this isn't the first time we've seen this.

Danielle's crew acts in a similar way after returning from the Smoke Creature's Lair. They tell Danielle to join them and get murderous when she chooses not to. These guys were not ghosts. Danielle put very real bullets in their heads and left fly covered corpses.

So what's with these guys? Brainwashed in the Jacob loves you room? Ghosts? Animated corpses? Zombies?!? Can something on the island animate the dead and make them do their bidding? I'm not sure but there are some strange things going on in that temple. When people enter, they don't return the same.

Is what happened to Claire different than what happened to Danielle's crew? Was Danielle's crew on Jacob's list? Just some questions to ponder as we race toward the finish.

Up Next: my guesses for the rest of season 5.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Lost Theory: Smokey

Apologies for the brief delays. It took me awhile to figure out how to do expandable posts. Onto today's theories about the smokey monster.

As I said yesterday I think the Others were punished for worshipping a false idol. Could the Smoke Monster be God's wraith or a plague that is on the island judging them? Maybe an angel of death?

Farfetched? Sure but this is Lost we are talking about.

Another idea is that the smoke monster was summoned by Annubis as seen in the hyrogliphics in the recent episode. Is Richard Annubis? Could the smoke monster have been summoned by Richard to use against Jacob?

Or was the smoke monster created during the incident that happened to dharma. We have yet to see any of the smoke monster in 70's flashbacks.

We know that the smoke monster can view your memories and pass judgement. We also know that it can absorb dead bodies and appear as them. He did this with Yemi and possibly Christian Shepherd.

This begs the question is Christian a ghost or has he been the smoke monster the whole time. Lets play with the theory that he has been the smoke monster the whole time.

Christian/Smokey have been manipulating things from the beginning. He tells Vincent the dog to wake up Jack after the crash. He leads Jack to the caves. He appears as Yemi and tells Eko to keep pushing the button when Locke stops.

At this point Eko/Desmond/Locke screw up and the purple sky incident happens. I think smokey and Jacob both got hurt at this point. Smokey returns as Yemi and passes judgment on Eko. Eko's last words to Locke are "You're next". Smokey ain't happy.

Locke later meets Jacob in the cabin. Jacob calls for help. He's been hurt pretty badly by the purple sky incident or is it because of his imprisonment? There's a circle of sulfur around the cabin. Locke breaks the circle when he stumbles out of the cabin.

What is the circle for? To keep Jacob in the cabin or more likely to keep Smokey out.

The next time we see the cabin it is appearing randomly around the island scaring poor Hurley. Is Jacob trying to hide from Smokey?

More evidence that Christian is Smokey. In one of the flashforwards, Jack hears the smoke detector go off. He goes to check and then sees his father sitting there.

Down the road Locke and Ben return to the cabin. Locke sees Christian Shepherd and Claire in the cabin. (We'll talk about Claire tomorrow) There is no sign of Jacob anywhere in the cabin, only Christian saying he is speaking for Jacob. Just what did Smokey do with Jacob?

Christian at this point begins to really manipulate Locke. All the instructions that Locke is getting from Christian are not from Jacob at all, they are from Smokey. He tells him to move the island. Locke does. He then tells Locke he is going to have to make a sacrifice. Locke is going to have to die. Why would smokey want to do this? Because he is tired of Locke screwing things up like he did with pushing the button. He wants to be John Locke.

Locke dies and is brought back to the island.

We next see Christian appear to Sun and Lapidus. He tells them they have a long journey ahead. Then the next morning... Locke is alive and well on the beach. Or is he. Locke is acting very weird. Where had he been up to this point? Well he was on the other island talking to Sun as Christian. Smokey is now Locke and poor Locke is still dead.

Locke/Smokey now begins manipulating Ben. He prods him on to the temple to be judged and then leaves when the smoke monster comes out to judge him. Smokey then appears as Alex and tells Ben to not lay a finger on Locke or he'll kill him. Why would he do this? Because he needs Ben to work for him. Smokey's plans are going to get messed up if Ben keeps manipulating things.

Are there other forces at play? Just what is in the temple?

So there's my Locke is Smoke Monster theory. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Tomorrow: we'll chat about claire, ghosts, and happy people(zombies?!?)

Monday, April 13, 2009

Lost Theory: Jacob

Welcome to Lost Theory week here at the cave. Today we'll be tackling the biggest Lost mystery: Jacob.

Who is he? What is he? Is he connected to the four toed statue?

We'll take a look after the jump.

A note about these theories. I might be right with these theories, more than likely I'm wrong.

But if I'm right don't lynch me for spoiling the show for you. :p

Before we get to who Jacob is, lets take a look at some previous facts:

Way back in season one the losties discovered two skeletons in a cave and dubbed them Adam and Eve.
When people turn the wheel to exit the island they end up in Tunisia.
There are Egyptian symbols everywhere on the island.

Okay so who is Jacob. Well Jacob is... Jacob. No really. Jacob from the Old Testament.

Okay before you stop reading, hear me out...

Time for a quick sunday school recap. In the Old Testament Jacob was the trickster. He tricked his brother Esau out of his father's birthright. Esau vows revenge and Jacob flees. Jacob himself is tricked by Laban and later his own children.

Jacob wants to marry Laban's daughter Rachel, Laban says he can after 7 years of servitude. Jacob is tricked into marrying Rachel's not so attractive sister Leah instead. Jacob then marries Rachel as well after promising even more years of service.

So what does this have to do with Lost? Well Rachel wanted kids, but she could have none. Sound familiar? Leah and various handmaidens bare 10 children. Rachel finally gives birth, but then dies during the birth of her second son... Benjamin! Dun Dun.

Jacob is then deceived by his children. The sons claim that Jacob's favorite son Joseph is killed but he is in fact sold into slavery. Joseph later becomes a ruler in Egypt forgives his brothers and is reunited with his father. I know I'm leaving a lot out...

Now here's where it ties back into Lost. When Jacob dies, the egyptians allow him and Leah to be buried in the cave of the patriarchs. Joseph leads a huge state funeral back to Canaan, with the 12 sons carrying their father's coffin and many Egyptian officials accompanying them.

Is it possible that the funeral party got split up and lost somehow. Tunisia is near Egypt, though in the opposite direction of Canaan. The funeral group ends up on the island, the same way Ben and Locke ended up in Tunisia by turning the wheel.

Jacob and Leah are buried in the cave. The handful of Isrealites and Egyptians are stranded on the island and form the Others. The Others are shocked to see Jacob out and about on the Island. The island brings him back to life or he's a ghost. The Others worship Jacob but he tells them to worship God. The Egyptians don't like this and they imprison Jacob.

One of the Egyptians, Richard, becomes the leader of the Others. Richard talks the people into worshipping a false idol, Tawaret. Tawaret is the egyptian goddess of fertility. A goddess who only has four toes!?!? The israelites are known for being misled into worshipping false idols, golden calf anyone.

God reigns down his judgement on the island, cursing the Others to not be able to bare children. The Others turn back to Jacob and God. Richard is demoted. They choose a leader who is the only one allowed to speak to Jacob, similar to Moses going up on the Mount to talk to God...

More Tomorrow: Jacob's imprisonment, The Smoke Monster, Christian Shepherd

Friday, April 10, 2009

Theme Week: Lost week

Next week is LOST week in the Cave. I'll be posting my zany lost theories. Don't worry I won't put any spoilers on the front page.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

1,000,000 hits!

The blog just had its 1,000,000th visitor yesterday.

O Rly?

Ya, Rly.

Our hits went through the roof after we changed our content to all owls.